Restoration

Though I'm not exactly sure why I feel compelled to write this post, the fact of the matter is that I do. And have for quite some time. So here it is.

As I was listening to K-Love in January, the folks on the morning show were talking about using one word to describe your goal and/or plan for the coming year. Now generally I would half listen to these types of things but, for some reason, this conversation struck me and one word immediately popped into my mind: restoration.

I knew, without a doubt and in an instant, that this was the word for our family this year. But, honestly, that word didn't really line up with what I had personally planned for the next 12 months. In some areas it did but for others, not really. To be more exact, I thought it would take us about six months to get where I wanted our family to be before moving on to what I assumed to be our next phase.

It was a heartwarming moment, though, and so I thought because this word described what I thought was going to happen for about half of the year, that we were on the right track. For instance, I knew Dave was going to have knee surgery and was praying it would restore his ability to go through life without excruciating pain. We were also rehabbing Tay's elbow and was so praying that at-home therapy and time would bring it back to full functionality. I was in the process of dropping some weight and was also restoring some relationships.

So, I thought, it's all good.

And it was. And it is. And it will continue to be.

But what I've realized in the last few days is that the Lord was telling me the entire year was going to be devoted to restoration. Those other dreams I felt were going to come true this year simply will not. And it's not because anyone has done anything wrong. Not because we've driven our lives off into a ditch. 

It's just that I was, yet again, trying to make what I thought I was hearing from Him fit what I wanted for our lives. But here's the thing, instead of smacking myself in the noggin and wondering "When will you EVER learn?" again, I'm embracing it.

Dave's knee is much better. And it will continue to take time.

Taylor needs another surgery. And it will take more time for her to completely heal.

I've lost weight. And will probably take until the New Year before I'm satisfied.

We're making strides financially in managing our funds better, saving better and paying down debt.

We've grown spiritually and it is my prayer that process will NEVER stop.

Our family is closer now than ever before and I, literally, could not be more thankful.

It's not my plan. Never was. I wanted to fast forward through this process and get to the other side where we would reap the harvest I planned in my mind. The one I thought would complete our lives.

And that, my friends, is pretty funny. Bordering on hysterical if you want my opinion. Because our family has come a long, long way and yet I still thought somehow that what I felt was best for us would translate into the Lord blessing and providing it.

I looked up the definition of the word restoration and here's what I found:

Main Entry: res·to·ra·tion 

Pronunciation: \ˌres-tə-ˈrā-shən\

Function: noun

Date: 14th century

1 : an act of restoring or the condition of being restored: as a : a bringing back to a former position or condition : reinstatement  b : restitution c : a restoring to an unimpaired or improved condition  

And that, my friends, is when it all clicked. Finally.

He is restoring our sense of peace in all things. Not halfway. Not six months' worth. Not just as much as I thought was needed before we moved on to the next phase of our lives.

He's doing it ALL THE WAY.

And, in fact, I believe with all of my heart that he's improving our condition to the point that it will dwarf what I felt - in my earthly mind - was "enough." That is one of the things I love the most about Him because this sanguine often moves on to another project before fully completing the previous one. 

So here's to another four months of restoration in the Bowers family. I, for one, can't wait to see what He has in store for us in 2011 but I refuse to cheat myself of the joy of the remainder of 2010 by continuing to try to fit the puzzle pieces I think should work into our lives.

Why? Because I'm all in. 

And I have no doubt it's going to be better than even the most amazing roller coaster.

 ¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, 

       because the LORD has anointed me 

       to preach good news to the poor. 

       He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, 

       to proclaim freedom for the captives 

       and release from darkness for the prisoners, ^[a]

 ² to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor 

       and the day of vengeance of our God, 

       to comfort all who mourn,

 ³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion— 

       to bestow on them a crown of beauty 

       instead of ashes, 

       the oil of gladness 

       instead of mourning, 

       and a garment of praise 

       instead of a spirit of despair. 

       They will be called oaks of righteousness, 

       a planting of the LORD 

       for the display of his splendor.

Isaiah 61:1-3