Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Weekly Top 10 - Football Edition

So this finds all three in our fam a little out of sorts. Tonto is recovering from a horrific bout of cramps on Sunday (probably due to dehydration after golfing), the girl's allergies are en fuego, and I'm trying to figure out how to wake up refreshed instead of peeling myself out of bed yet another week.

Yes, those are absolutely first world problems and are but a tiny blip on the radar of life; however, it means my brain is a bit sluggish and we already discussed my penchant for leaving my camera at home while on outings lately so today's list is a bit out of the norm.

As you may have ascertained by now, I'm a bit passionate when it comes to Baylor University and the New Orleans Saints. And football. And basketball as well but we've not yet entered that season yet...

So here are the top 10 phrases you will hear come out of my mouth (generally speaking to myself or a player on the field who cannot possibly hear me) during a football game (high school, college or pro - I show no favoritism):

1. When the game is too close and one gets a sack - "Boy, you have no reason to be strutting yet. Get your behind back on that line and do it again."

2. Upon the opponent's player either catching or running the ball - "Knock him down! NOW!!! What in the world is wrong with you?!?!"

3. "Don't make me come down there and straighten you out..."

4. "Alright, guys, let's make those other boys cry. But don't hurt 'em. Just beat 'em. Real good."

5. "My head sure seems to be throbbing. Could it be all the yelling?"

6. "Mama needs some water. And ibuprofen."

7. Me: "Why am I shaking like a leaf?" Tonto: "I am too, babe. It's just so stinkin' stressful today."

8. "Oh. My. Word. Did RG3 just go airborne? Again? And stick the landing?"

9. "Looks to me like we need a guest speaker at halftime..."

10. "Sweet mercy..."

And a bonus....

11. After beating TCU, the defending Rose Bowl champs - "Every rose has its thorn - oh, yes, it most certainly does..."