Blinding Light

There are few things I love more than our church, y'all. Quite frankly, the group of women with whom I spend my Wednesday nights in the Mom to Mom class are some of my favorite people. And not just because it provides a mid-week respite from child-rearing and work. Or the fantastic meals served beforehand that are complete with dessert I feel a NEED to eat because it would just be rude not to partake.

We laugh. We cry. We grow. We celebrate. We comfort. We support. And we talk. A lot.

On the way home from our trip to Cowboys Stadium, after I'd had one of those parenting moments I'd like to forget (and did ask forgiveness for) after melting down over Tay losing her phone less than two months after getting it, I randomly decided to check my email.

This isn't something I do on a regular basis when I'm not working because I like to unplug (a bit - there's still Twitter and Jewels that call my name) and hang with the fam...but I felt a need to check it and so I did.

What I found there made my jaw drop because one of the ladies in our Mom to Mom class, who was only 36, passed away unexpectedly on Thanksgiving evening.

I didn't even know what to say to that, y'all, because it broke my heart. Last Tuesday I attended her funeral and my heart was further saddened by the many pictures of her enjoying life with her husband and beautiful children.

WHY?!?!?!?

That's what kept running through my mind. Over and over and over again.

Fast forward a bit to last Friday night when Dave and I took food over to the family. We visited with her husband a bit and I was overcome with sadness. The kind you just can't shake off. And it lasted through an unplanned movie night with the man and the girl. And kept me up for quite a while as well, which gave me some time to pray. Repeatedly.

When I woke up Saturday morning and headed to Zumba, I was feeling better but - to be quite frank - my heart still hurt for the family left behind. And then it happened.

While I was working out and wondering how I can do this type of workout every week and still look so awkward, the sun shone brightly - and I do mean BRIGHTLY - through one of the windows and directly in my eyes.

That light seemed to follow me no matter how much we moved around (which is a lot) and was so bright that I literally had to look down...

Out of nowhere these words came to me and they have stuck with me - HE'S STILL HERE.

In all of the darkness and sadness of this fallen world, through tragedies that will not make sense on this side of heaven and pain that seems relentless. No matter what, He's still here.

He's sitting on the throne surrounded by a dazzling and blinding light that we can't comprehend but rely upon each and every day. I have no idea why this happened but I do know this - He's still here and He's not going anywhere.

And that's enough.

I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

Jeremiah 31:13