Monday, February 28, 2011

Moments

There are moments in life that seem to suffocate. Sometimes it's not just one moment but a string of them that pile upon each other in what seems to be only minutes and the cumulative weight seems to be more than one can bear. If each were to happen separately, they would be momentary blips on the radar and would register as annoying.

Not life altering.

Because I spend most of my time on this blog chronicling happy times in my family so we won't forget them in the hustle and bustle of living, it may seem that we either don't have or don't want to acknowledge that "moments" like described above simply don't exist for us.

As though we live in Pollyannaville where such things don't happen.

For whatever reason, I feel the need to be very honest in that they most definitely do occur and, to be very truthful, I don't always handle them very well. Particularly when they pile upon each other without time to process each on its own.

Because that's what I do - process, figure out how to deal, file it away, move on.

Last week a number of things in our life came down all at once. Like a violent thunderstorm with no relent in sight. There was no time to process one before the next wave hit.

Random things. Some I would never have dreamed in my wildest of thoughts.

So there's the explanation for silence on my blog for the last four days. 

And let me be crystal clear - I didn't handle it well. I felt sorry for myself. And my family. Went silent. And I asked "why" more times than I can count. And cried a river of tears which, by the way, is most uncharacteristic.

Did I mention I was sick during this time as well? :-)

No, that's not an excuse. Or an explanation. It just compounded the issues but, quite frankly, the problem was that I did not hold on to what I know it true.

He is the same as he was before. He is not changing. And He will not let go.

I do not have all the answers and probably couldn't handle them even if they were available to me. My ways are not His ways and He is still on the throne. Come what may. Or may not. In whatever manner He chooses.

No, I don't understand. No, I don't like some of the things currently on our plate. But, as my man says, "I'm not going to sweat it...just take it as it comes."

Because, really, my worry and tears and bad attitude aren't going to do anything except make me (and everyone around me) miserable in the meantime. Minor inconveniences here (that sometimes do seem like major issues with my limited view) will be nothing once we enter the gates of glory.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful!
Hebrews 10:23

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