Not Me! Monday!

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. 

Welcome to another edition of Not Me! Monday! where I'll proudly put on display my most embarrassing moments of the week in hopes that you will laugh your head off. 

Pride? I obviously have none and made the decision - on my family's behalf - that they do not either.

And we're off and running...

I most certainly did not obsess about Ty getting voted off/not getting voted off of Dancing with the Stars last week. In hopes that I could singlehandedly save him, I also did not create a number of new email accounts so that we could continue voting for him online. The puppiesdid not vote for Ty. Repeatedly. I repeat - the puppies DID NOT vote for Ty. 

As long as we're on this topic, I should let you know I did not allow my child to jump up and down on the bed in celebration of Ty remaining on DWTS...or send up a prayer for him before he performed that he would 'just do the best he could and have no regrets...' 

That would be crazy since I don't know him...and I didn't rationalize it because my hubby used to ride bulls in the same circles so I, of course, feel that I know him by extension. Absolutely not!

I was also not reminded this week of the time I did not tuck my skirt into my pantyhose. And Idid not have to leave the meeting early so that everyone in attendance gasped at the same time and pointed out my faux pas. That did not happen - EVER!

I did not check myself out in the mirror before having lunch with hubby last Tuesday. From every angle. And, merciful heavens, it was NOT because all the nurses there are so darn cute that I feel a little self conscious.

Speaking of Tuesday, I did not begin the morning by stomping my foot and making a fool of myself in the backyard because Bo (who's suffering from a skin condition and can't be out in the heat) decided he was going to go out anyway and sit in the middle of the yard. And REFUSE to move. I did not have 4-inch heels on at the time and twist my ankle a bit either. Nope, not me!

I also did not pretend to be asleep that morning so I wouldn't have to help hubby with the trash. (Cut me some slack, people - it was 5:30am!)

While packing Taylor's lunch for Roof Day (some sordid school activity where the principal stands on the roof and hoses the kids down and drops buckets of water on them - and this is fun? And legal?) did not pack my child's lunch in a plastic Wal-Mart shopping bag because I forgot to pick up paper ones. 

Back to Bo...he and I did not have a 3-minute conversation about how disappointed I was in him for going potty on my clean floor Wednesday evening. I mean, seriously, I had just mopped. He just stood there and looked at me - typical male!

While waiting for Tay's gym coach to finish another lesson on Saturday, I most definitely did not laugh hysterically after Tay broke out into full song and dance to keep herself entertained. And it wasn't performed at the top of her voice and completed with jazz hands. 

She did not look at me when she finished and say, "We share this with no one."

While at Petco searching for medicated shampoo for Bo on Saturday (are you catching on to the pattern - Prissy and Perkie are SO low maintenance compared to Bo...heck, even Taylor's less demanding than this doggie diva) did not snap this photo and send it to my husband immediately because I just couldn't believe my eyes.

When looking for a pen in my purse during church yesterday, my daughter DID NOT pull out a tampon by mistake. Because that would be incredibly embarrassing - for EVERYONE involved!

And, finally, I was not awoken this morning (did I mention he did this BEFORE the alarm went off - the nerve!) by my hubby asking what I planned to do with the 'I Dream of Genie stuff' (ie new decorative pieces to sit on top of our office filing cabinet). And he did not tell me in all seriousness that he "even rubbed the lamp-looking part to see if a genie would appear...but it didn't work..." Nope, not at my house!

Hope you have a great week. I plan to not jot these things down all week as they happen in my circus of a life so that I can NOT participate again next week in Not Me! Monday! Because itwas not the highlight of my week last week. Nope, not me!