Living Through the Moments

There is the moment when...

...grief hits you out of nowhere (for the 10,000th time)...

...you wonder if life will ever resume being normal again...

...you can't seem to make the tears stop...yet again...

...hope seems completely lost...

...you begin to believe one child on this earth is all you get...

...you desperately need good news...

These are the moments that bring you to your knees.

Then there is a moment when...

...you forget and it seems like all was a dream...

...you realize (and begin to accept) all you have left of what should have been a bouncing baby boy or precious baby girl is a blurry ultrasound photo...

...it hits you anew that this was the month when that determination (pink v. blue) would have been revealed...

...you look at your child and wonder (yet again) why in the world you told her so soon...

...He feels a million miles away...

These are the moments that are simply surreal.

And then there is the moment when...

...God sends you a verse that speaks directly to your soul...

...you get messages from all directions that indicate you shouldn't give up...

...you know, without a doubt, that He is here...

...you realize life goes on and that you must as well...

...you simply put one foot in front of the other...

...you hear the same message from Him over and over but refuse to let it into your heart in an attempt to avoid another letdown...and the subsequent pain...but He keeps speaking it clearly...

These are the moments that give you hope.

The unfortunate thing is that all of these moments hurt. In different ways. But one will never get to the milestone if we can't make it through the moments. Or so my favorite Bible teacher, Beth Moore, says.

The thing is that I don't even know what the milestone I'm working toward looks like. 

These moments are incredibly sad.

There are also moments that make your heart stop.

Like when He very clearly sends a message - from multiple sources - that simply says this...

If we are faithless he remains faithful, for He cannot disown himself.

2 Timothy 2:13

So that is where we find ourselves today. Living through the moments. Journeying toward a milestone. Not knowing the destination.

Trusting. Believing. Hoping. Praying.

Because it's absolutely true. If we cannot make it through the moments, we shall never enjoy the milestone.