Radio, Rock and Religion

Slowly but surely I'm making it through all of the photos from our trip to New York. If you're wondering why I document in such detail on my blog, it's because I plan to make books out of my blog posts since my scrapbooking days seem to be on an extended vacation. It's not exactly the same but I hope it will be a nice way to look back at what's happened in our lives on an annual basis and see the amazing things God has done for us.

So after our amazing harbor cruise, which was a fantastic way to get the lay of the land and learn about the history of the island, we hopped a bus back to Times Square where we had a dinner of appetizers at the largest TGI Friday's in the country. I know, a serious claim to fame, right?

Then we took a bit of a different route back to the hotel in order to see a few more areas of interest...

There was Saks...

...and Radio City Music Hall...

...and then we found ourselves in Rockefeller Plaza...

I must say that despite being a concrete jungle, the city really makes a point to have flowers planted in as many places as possible to bring some life to an otherwise drab backdrop. There were also some interesting topiaries in various places like this Easter bunny :-)

Looking down at Rockefeller Center...

Our next stop was St. Patrick's Cathedral. On National Day of Prayer. Can you say AWESOME?

This place was absolutely amazing and you can be sure that I prayed my way through the entire building.

Breathtaking

Awe-inspiring

Exquisite

Utterly beautiful

Magnificent

Massive

Incredible

Truly an opportunity of a lifetime and probably my favorite stop while we were in the city. 

Next we found Crumbs Bake Shop where we picked up cupcakes to have for dessert later at the hotel - Peanut Butter Cup and Red Velvet. In a word: divine.

The Chrysler Building in the distance...

...and just a cool, rounded building Dave really liked.

All in all, it was a fantabulous late afternoon/early evening and we arrived back at the hotel feeling incredibly blessed and hungry for dessert. Hey, just keeping it real, y'all!

Here's hoping everyone had as relaxing of a weekend as we did. We put the "L" in "lazy" this time around and just enjoyed our little fam. Wouldn't change it for the world...

Happy Monday!

For His Glory

He called you to salvation when we told you the Good News; now you can share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Thessalonians 2:14 NLT


I am truly overwhelmed by the love, emails, Facebook messages, texts and sweet thoughts that have covered and showered us after sharing the loss of our baby with the world. And, while I am much less fragile than I was when writing that initial post, I must admit that the grief and "what ifs" do still come in waves.

But here's the thing - everything I have read and been shown in the Word in the last week or so is about God's glory. In fact, when reading Radical the other night, I was struck by the fact that our successes and blessings given to us are for His glory. Not ours. Everything given to us is, in the end, to honor and glorify God.

In my estimation (granted, I'm not a great theologian), our trials and tribulations are for His glory as well. Otherwise, He would not have allowed them to occur. Honestly, I don't have any idea why my baby wasn't allowed to continue living and join us here BUT I do know that our baby's life was not taken while the Lord looked away or just wasn't paying attention.

It had to have been allowed by Him. That's just a fact.

Which leaves me with yet another question because I know, without a doubt, that He must have allowed this for a reason. I have struggled somewhat because, as most people know, Dave and I have been through a lot of junk. However, all of it was self-induced and were things we either directly caused or were consequences to our actions.

This was not. We didn't cause this and it wasn't a result of anything we did or didn't do...and that's hard to swallow. In fact, it would be downright impossible to swallow if we didn't still have hope. And faith.

So what I believe - and will continue to lean on - is that the Lord allowed this sad season in our lives for a reason. He is completely good and perfect so this wasn't done out of meanness, punishment or spite. There must be a greater good and I am determined that losing our baby will, in some way, bring Him glory. How? I really don't know, y'all, but I do believe with everything in me that He will redeem this season.

This sad, heartbreaking, confusing - and at times - angry time...

He. Will. Redeem. It.

Now we wait to behold His glory.

Bring it, Lord.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Deuteronomy 31:8

New York Harbor Cruise - A Photo Essay

Tonto Takes on the Big Apple

This time last week, Tonto and I were getting ready to head out for a grand adventure. I was blessed to be able to attend the Digital Impact Conference in New York City and he tagged along to protect me on the mean streets and to assist my very directionally challenged self :-)

It was raining when we landed but we ventured out anyway because our hotel room wasn't quite ready yet. The first major thing we saw was Church of the Incarnation, which featured absolutely stunning Tiffany stained glass windows. A-MAZ-ING!

Then we headed down to the Empire State Building where we were delighted to see all the bellmen still wear hats and long, formal coats in a fantastic shade of burgundy. And don't even get me started on the gold buttons...

It is stunning both inside and out, y'all...

Can't go without a little King Kong reference, now can we?

Next we headed to Times Square, which was blinding even in the middle of the afternoon. While we went there several times, we were never there at night so we missed some of the grand effect, I suppose, but after all the walking we did each and every day there was just no way we were going back...yes, we're old!

Tonto in front of the giant Toys 'R' Us ferris wheel...

Some of the cute ferris wheel cars...

Behold the assault on the senses that is Times Square...

Let's pause a moment to truly appreciate a store that is all about chocolate. When we went inside, it smelled so heavenly that I'm almost certain five pounds were gained immediately. They had a two-pack of Reese's that were so large, 1/12 of a serving contained 190 calories. And the package contained two servings. Oh my...

Once we finally made it back to the room, our 5:20am departure time really caught up with us so we ordered a true New York style pizza. It was fabulous. And then I promptly fell asleep for 12 hours. Needless to say, I hadn't slept very well the week before our trip and I clearly needed some rest.

The good news is I was fully rested for the next day when my conference started (which was fab) and our harbor cruise (which was super awesome)...

And though you may fear the NYC pics have all been featured in this very long post, fear not for there are many more to come. This is simply day one :-)

Happy Tuesday, y'all!

Let Them Eat Cake

Hello, friends!

While I had not intended to leave my last post up for so long, we left for New York shortly after and I just didn't have a chance to add another one before our plane took off very early Wednesday morning. That being said, I was absolutely overwhelmed with the text messages, Facebook comments and emails I received after so many read it. Seriously...OVERWHELMED!

It has not been a fun road at all but I am feeling better each day and have been incredibly blessed by friends and family along the way. While I will have more to say about that later, I'm sure, right now I want to talk about cake :-)

The GA's at church had a cake decorating contest last week so we had to put one together last Monday since we were leaving town. Unfortunately, I am truly not a decorator of cakes (but houses I'm game for at all times!) so my girl had a sad confection to present. It did, however, have spirit and I heard it tasted pretty good as well...

What you can't see is that the actual cake was green inside and there was gold frosting between the layers. It's rudimentary, for sure, but I had no idea there would be guitars, gumball machines, etc. represented. Who knew these girls were so talented in the baking arena? :-)

I will have you know that the #10 and RG3 additions were completely Tay's idea. Apparently her favorite Baylor players will remain Robert Griffin III fo-eva...

...which you know is totally cool with me...

We were all very happy (Puppy Posse included) to get back home in our own beds. Tay was ecstatic to love on Prissy and we're looking forward to a relatively normal routine this week. Busy but normal...at least for us anyway :-)

Have a great Monday, friends!

He's Still the Same

Your laws are always right; help me to understand them so I may live.

Psalm 119:144

Due to my absence (unless you count straight photo posts that were scheduled) from our blog last week, I thought it might be therapeutic to let you all in on what's been going on in our life.

There are some words/phrases that I've always found distasteful. They include things like: cancer (of all kinds), elimination of one's employment position, child abuse, cruelty to animals, lack of freedom of religion, persecution, etc.

Last week I learned a few more that literally made me ill, brought me to my knees and tested my faith in a mighty way. They included: lack of fetal heart motion, miscarriage, termination of pregnancy via surgery and a diagnosis of missed abortion.


Yes, we were pregnant.

Yes, Taylor was expecting a sibling (finally!) in late November.

Yes, the baby had a heartbeat 11 days prior to our appointment last Monday.

No, there is nothing we could have done to cause the baby to stop developing or to have prevented it from happening. (this is one I've been told over and over and over...)

Yes, we were (are) devastated. Without going into detail, this was our miracle baby. One we felt incredibly blessed to have been given and one we would have gone to the ends of the earth to protect. But we weren't given that opportunity. At least not past the 8 weeks and 6 days we were allowed to keep it.

Yes, the days from Monday (when time stood still as we saw the very eery and still ultrasound) to Thursday (when I had surgery) were hell on earth. Carrying your dead baby is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. Ever.

No, I do not understand why this had to happen. In my (very biased, obviously) opinion, the sequence of events was one of the most cruel scenarios that could have played out. I have both yelled at and cried out to the God who gives and takes away. Repeatedly.

Last week I was, at times, convinced that He must be very angry at me. At others I felt the peace only He could provide. Between those extremes, I was mainly inconsolable and willing to turn only to my man.

I have been incredibly BLESSED with an absolutely amazing man who willingly listened to my ranting and raging as both my hormones and emotions catapulted and then plummeted. The one who never left my side. Not even once. The one who was my rock through this nightmare and promised me that I was strong enough to endure. The one who kept the faith when I could not.

Yes, the tears still come. Far too easily.

Yes, my heart still feels at times like something is missing.

No, I have not trusted and rested in the fact that this is His plan at all times. Why? Because I want my baby. Here. With us.

Yes, Taylor is incredibly disappointed and I cursed myself for telling her too soon as I held my crying firstborn as the news sunk in.

BUT I am slowly starting to feel like myself again. I am slowly turning back to Him and trusting that our baby was only taken as a part of His bigger (and better) plan.

Why?

Because if I don't, then everything I believe, profess and base my life on is worthless and untrue.

And that's simply not the case. He is real. And He is the same as he was on Easter Sunday when I believed my baby was still alive and would be here with us for Thanksgiving.

He is the same.

To this I will cling.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful!

Hebrews 10:23 NIV